Cole To The Infinite Power
by Alchemystik32
Summary: From The Underworld To The Real World. Growing Up Half-Human In A Demonic World Wasn't Easy...
1. Default Chapter

**Cole To The Infinite Power**

**An Overview**

**Cole Turner…**

**Just what was he like, this half-demon, and half-human? Where did he come from? Where did he go during his formative years? How did he adapt...a demon with a soul? And, a conscience?**

**For the first time, in his own words, we learn the story behind the enigma; and uncover the truth about this complex, compelling, and ultimately all too human being.**

**Cole:**

**Like everyone, I started out as a child. Basically innocent, certainly unaware of my heritage...and my destiny. I was born at the end of the 19th century; the date and time are relatively unimportant now, but suffice it to say, I wasn't exactly a welcome addition to a happy family. You see, I was born to a demon mother and a human father, and I was to be groomed to play an important role in demonic history; and in the lives of four young women, known to all as The Charmed Ones.**

**Come travel with me, but judge not...until you have heard the entire story. For nothing is either black or white, and at times, even the shades of gray are hard to discern. I lived a life of opulence, deprivation, and everything in between. I traveled far and wide, saw much, but often understood little. I lived by the rules of the Underworld, where violence is the norm, and he who hesitates to kill a rival suffers a traitor's death. If he is lucky.**

**I plotted and schemed, lied and justified, manipulated and fought tooth and nail to achieve a place in the hierarchy. I was a member of the elite group known as the Brotherhood, and was feared and reviled by demons and humans alike.'**

**But...**

**I also saw the beauty of a sunset over the Alps. The cool breezes off the oceans. I saw Paris and Venice by night, toured Rome in the bright, hot light. I was feted by Kings, and fawned over by women. I took all but never gave anything of myself, unless I could benefit from it. I was handsome, arrogant, narrow-minded, and shallow. I did everything possible to exploit my human side, in a desperate attempt to escape from the truth.**

**I WAS half-human. I was born with a soul...and, a conscience. Many times my two halves warred against each other, and I was stuck, helplessly, in the middle. I was called upon to do things that sickened and revolted that human side of myself, and then I experienced the worst of my humanity...**

**I fell in love with one I was ordered to destroy, and from that moment on, my life was never the same.**

**Phoebe Halliwell saw passed the blackness of my heart, and discovered the one patch of light my soul possessed. I could never go back to being who or what I was, for her love for me, and belief in me challenged my dark side...**

**And set the goodness of Cole Turner free.**

**Come. Walk with me. Listen and learn.**

**And, Believe... **


	2. Time To Spare

**Cole To The Infinite Power**

**Chapter 1: With Time To Spare. **

**By: Alchemystik32**

**Cole:**

**I've had time to remember what I could about my past, while I wait here in limbo. I've been hoping to be " Rekindled ", to get another chance to make up for all the pain and suffering I caused those that I loved. Time is different here, so I've been filling it by remembering, trying to pinpoint the highs and lows in my life, just in case I..well, let's just leave it at that. **

**I was born in San Francisco, at a time more distant than I care to remember. My father, Benjamin Coleridge Turner was a respected man, well-read and well-bred, a banker, a politician, a philanthropist. Nothing in his staid and ordered life prepared him to fall in love with the demon sent to destroy him, my mother, Elizabeth. A tall woman, willowy, with dark hair and brilliant blue eyes, she had been sent to deter my father from a path he had chosen, one which did not agree with those in the charge of the Underworld. She went with all intention of carrying out her mission, but like mother, like son, she fell in love with her quarry instead. The rest, to coin the proverbial phrase, is history. My history.**

**I don't remember my father, only what I was told. Why? Because Mother was finally forced to do what she had been sent for in the first place. She killed him, thereby ending his opposition to my training. My demonic training, that is. You see, Mother was an upper level demon, one of the elite, and there was just no way in hell her son was going to grow up to be a banker or a lawyer. I already had a destiny hand-picked for me, so to speak. I was sent to train under the tutelage of Raynor, to learn the demon way. However...**

**I was already different. I was half human, with human thoughts, emotions...weaknesses. I had a conscience, I had a soul. I didn't exactly work and play well with others and felt angry, conflicted...betrayed. My mother abandoned me at the young age of six...and I never saw her again. I could've made a psychiatrist rich talking about my formative years.**

**I listened and learned, worked hard, and tried to distance myself from my human half. I learned to submerge that occasional twinge of guilt, or pity. I became an arrogant, narrow-minded asshole, so sure that our way, the way of The Brotherhood, was the only true way. Belonging to a higher caliber of demondom, I sneered at those below me, and browned my nose whenever necessary. Now I can't help but wonder, for what? Just what was I trying to prove?**

**For a long time, I felt my mother killed my father, and abandoned me, because she was ashamed of the one trait my father and I shared. Our essential humanity. Did she ever understand the struggle that went on inside of me daily, and how by so suppressing that part of me, I almost lost myself forever? What would she think if she knew my redemption came in the most human of all emotions...**

**Love...?**

**They say evil lurks in the hearts of all men. Does that mean that love lurks in the blackest of souls? For how else do you explain what happened to me? Besides the obvious and over-rated saying about the apple not falling far from the tree. I was assigned to kill the Charmed Ones, and ended up a traitor, a fugitive...all for love.**

**The road was rocky, indeed. I tried desperately to deny the attraction growing between us. The heat, the passion...those emotions I could deal with. Love 'em and Leave 'em, that had been my motto for years. I used those three words, and the act of love to get me whatever it was that I needed at that time. I had no compunction about screwing my way up the demonic ladder if necessary, but always...always. That little voice inside my head, telling me that what I was doing was less than cool. My conscience? Perhaps.**

**The Charmed Ones. Where do you even begin to describe these women? Powerful, yes, but their powers were just the tip of the proverbial iceberg. They had a bond, a kinship that I sensed from the very beginning...and I hated them for it. They had everything I thought I despised, yet soon found myself yearning for. Family, a sense of belonging.**

**Prue, the oldest was always my nemesis. Bright but suspicious, powerful but protective as a mother hen where her sisters were concerned. She didn't trust me in the beginning. She never fully trusted me, and if Prue had had her way, she would have vanquished me single-handedly, rather than see what I ultimately became...and what Phoebe became because of me.**

**Piper was cautious, but usually too caught up in her own anxieties to really pay that much attention to me in the beginning. Later...that was a different story. **

**Paige, the fourth sister, discovered after Prue's untimely death, seems to have channeled her oldest sister's habits, along with her powers. I was always on the proverbial shit list where Paige was concerned. Even as the family newbie, she had a hard time fighting demons by day, and then knowing that her sister was sleeping with one that night. Made dinnertime a bit uncomfortable at times.**

**And then, there was Phoebe. The wild woman-child exterior hid a wiser, more compassionate person than many were aware of. Free-spirited, trusting, even a bit naïve, nonetheless, Phoebe was no one's fool. My mission took second place to my growing need to know more about her...to try and understand why this frail human was having such a devastating effect on the mighty Belthazor...**

**Four remarkable young women, bound by destiny and love. However, so much happened to me before they entered my life...some remains fogged, like a distant dream, while other times are crystal clear. I traveled far, met many people. I soaked up evil, learned to love the feeling of the seductive darkness, like the kiss of black velvet on my heated flesh. Even without my demonic side, I was never truly free of the dark side's siren call. It had saturated every fiber of my being, drilled itself deep within my heart and mind...even now, as I await my fate, I can sip it like a fine old wine. Power corrupts, but evil seduces, and a brighter man than I ever was told me that the feeling of oneness with the dark is never quite eradicated. How right he was.**

**Belthazor. My demonic half. Not the prettiest face at the ball, but I was strong, powerful...a legend in the Underworld. I had mentored many a young demon, although that came back to bite me on the ass more than once, and had never lost a battle. Not as Belthazor. My athame and I had wrecked havoc far and wide, and the Charmed Ones? Just another job to do. Ok, I had to be quick and quiet, these were no fledgling practitioners, but failure? Me? Never happened, never would. Or so I thought.**

**I traveled far, saw much, yet nothing compares to the first time I gazed into velvet brown eyes swimming in a sunlight face. The heart has its reasons...Life played its game.**

**I just never knew the rules...**

**Yet long before the Halliwell sisters walked on this earth, I had lived a lifetime's worth of experiences. Some remain as clear as crystal in my mind, while others take on the semblance of a dream. Training, honing ones skills, learning self-restraint, took up many years, and once I was free to begin pursuing my profession I became drunk on that freedom. And, myself. I was a good demon, soon one of the most feared, but what a travesty of a human being I became. No deed was too dark, no action too heinous for me to commit, and commit them I did.**

**Bear with my musings, hold back your judgments and I'll take you to the places I knew best...and introduce you to some of the people who knew the person I was then. **

**Author's Note: Please excuse the bolding, but I'm legally blind, and it's the only way I can see what I write.**


	3. Learning The Rules

**Cole To The Infinite Power**

**Chapter 2: In The Proving Grounds **

**Cole:**

**I wandered far and wide, my eye always on the main chance. The Brotherhood saw that I was well-equipped with an education, and the monetary means necessary to complete my missions. I wasn't your low level hit man-type demon; I was a member of the elite corps. Our means, although usually culminating in the death of our target, was a more subtle approach. Those who had made the demonic hit list were not insignificant men, and occasionally women. They were rich, powerful, and usually well-protected. **

**Witches were a specialty of mine; nothing gave me more pleasure than to rid the world of those do-gooders who were little more than vermin in my eyes. They were a challenge, often aware of my lurking presence, but basically helpless against my superior magical ability. Witches tend to band together, kind of like rats, which made it all the more easy for me to kill the proverbial two birds with one stone. The only good witch was a dead witch in my book.**

**I told you I was narrow-minded and arrogant, didn't I?**

**Occasionally, I came across a worthy adversary, but they usually succumbed to my powers of persuasion...or they died. But, hey, I always gave them a choice. To me, the chase was as satisfying as the kill.**

**When I needed a woman, I took one, and believe me, there were willing women everywhere. I had them all; young and old, rich and poor, beautiful, plain, shapely, full-figured, every race, human or magical. Sex was almost too easy, and I quickly became bored with my easy conquests. I was looking for more; a challenge, perhaps.**

**But I'm getting ahead of myself...**

**Take a small child and place him in a training center devoid of other children to socialize with. I'm not talking about Pre-school, here, there were no play areas, no jungle gyms. Think "Lord Of The Flies"...with attitude. I remember my first motivational meeting with Raynor, when I was about five years of age.**

**Raynor: " Stand still and don't speak unless I ask you a question. Stand up straight, show respect at all times, but never become servile. You're no ordinary scavenger demon; you're one of the chosen few. "**

**Cole: " Yes, Sir. "**

**I had no time to even try to evade the hand that lash crossed my face.**

**Raynor: " I didn't ask a question, did I? "**

**Mutely, I shook my head, which earned me another slap in the face.**

**Raynor: " I asked a question. You answer all questions; quickly, accurately, and with respect. Do you understand? "**

**Finally, a question! I nodded, earnestly, eager to avoid another blow.**

**Cole: " Yes, Sir. "**

**Raynor: " You don't call me Sir, I am your Mentor. "**

**Cole: " What's a mentor? "**

**I was lucky that Raynor was in an expansive mood; he ignored my breach of decorum, and settled himself into a chair, more than eager to encourage my budding interest in my new life.**

**Raynor: " A Mentor is a special type of teacher. I will teach you what it means to belong to the Brotherhood, to be proud of your heritage. In a way, I'm your father now. "**

**My Father? But, my Father was dead. Mother...no, I didn't want to think about that, let alone talk about it, yet...**

**Cole: " May I asked a question? My Father. Why did Mother kill him? I thought she loved him. "**

**Raynor: " Love him she might have, but understand this; He was a human, a non-magical human at that. Beneath contempt, beneath your Mother. Now there was a fine demon! "**

**Cole: " Mother? "**

**Raynor: " Beautiful, passionate, strong, talented...those are the most desirable traits in a female demon. "**

**Cole: " But why did she kill him? Didn't she like him any more? "**

**Raynor: " Like...love, are human emotions. You'll study them, learn to mimic them to perfection, but you will not waste valuable time indulging yourself. You must work hard to overcome your defect. "**

**Cole: " What defect? "**

**Raynor: " Your humanness, boy! You're a half-breed! You must always work harder, be faster, smarter, stronger, etc. You must overcome your basic humanness...bury your conscience and soul the best that you can. "**

**Conscience? Soul? I was confused, but I didn't dare ask anymore questions. Not then. However, Raynor was wise...**

**Raynor: " You'll learn all there is to know from life itself. I'll prepare you well, but you'll learn as you go. Two things you will always remember...are you listening? "**

**Cole: " Yes. "**

**Raynor: " You always obey an order. And, you will never allow a good witch to live. Understand? "**

**Cole: " I think so. What's a witch? "**

**Raynor: " A White Witch, one who studies and employs the Way Of Light is our enemy. You kill them before they can get to you, because only a good witch can vanquish a demon. We can kill each other, but outside our own sect, only one of those do-gooders can send us away for good. Kill them. They're like rats or spiders...just pests that need to be exterminated. "**

**I nodded, not really understanding. A witch was good, but bad for us. I had already learned that killing was something we did, and there was no use being upset by it. You followed orders, and if the orders were for you to kill your best friend, you did it. Without question. Or...**

**You became something very bad. Something that Raynor didn't like. He narrowed his eyes, and practically spat out the explanation.**

**Raynor: " The worst thing a demon can do is to disobey an order, because that makes you a traitor. Traitors don't live very long around here, and there are demons who do nothing but find and destroy these fallen demons. It's better to be vanquished then to betray your own kind. Remember that, Turner. "**

**I remembered it all too well.**

**And, I realized later that Raynor never answered my question. Why did Mother kill Father? Was he really just an assignment to her? **

**Confusion reigned within me for many years; unfortunately, once I learned the answers to all of these questions I couldn't help but wonder if ignorance was indeed bliss.**

**You see, I was the reason Mother finally killed Father. And then I learned about my Father's soul. Held captive, never allowed to rest, because Mother had become that bad thing that we demons learned to hate.**

**Mother became a traitor.**

**I didn't learn this until my training in the Underworld came to an end, and it was time for me to learn about life above ground. No little jaunts to observe the human species...I would learn to live like them. Blend in.**

**It wasn't as easy as it may sound. All I had ever known was darkness, yet now I was expected to embrace another way. More confusion, as I had to allow my human side free reign. The one thing that set me apart from the other demons, the thing I hid to the best of my ability, must now be my guide.**

**I found I had a great capacity for the side of light. I enjoyed the sight and sound of children at play, I appreciated a well-written book, a snifter of fine,old Brandy, a beautiful piece of music.**

**I became darkness and light, day and night..and my two sides warred within me until something amazing happened; I fell in love. **

**They say you always remember your first love. I remember mine very well. Before Phoebe, before everything else, I learned what the function of a human's heart and soul truly was...**

**  
**


End file.
